Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize