Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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