Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
