i don't like sucking hair
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
