yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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