2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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