I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
