ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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