She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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