there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
