ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
