his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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