I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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