we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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