The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I smell like Dick and happiness
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
