just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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