i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i drank out of a bidet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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