i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
