Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
