fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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