the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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