Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you made out with another girl for some wings
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
