Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
