Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
