it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
