I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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