Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
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My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
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I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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