My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
