apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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