I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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