aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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