with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
