I skipped work to stalk him.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
