I just cut my nipple shaving
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
