ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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