She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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