I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
