If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
