he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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