That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize