He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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