You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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