Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
