I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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