Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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