also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
