the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I love having hate sex.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
