I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
