who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
