I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
bring money and cleavage
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
