I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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