I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
