i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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