he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
