You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
