I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
