omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
