My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
