I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
