Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
