At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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