I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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