the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
