So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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