she woke up with a sticky ear
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
